Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

...who's the fairest of them all? Queen Grimhilde in the fairy tale, "Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs," had no problem looking right into her magical mirror, expecting to hear that she, indeed, was the fairest of all the land. Yet, over the years that I've taught classes and facilitated workshops on "The Language of Passion & Purpose," my students find mirror work to be one of their most challenging assignments.

What is it about looking in the mirror that has them "all shook up"? One would think that finding good things about ourselves in our own reflections would be a cinch, a piece 'a cake. It's actually not the expectation that we'll hear we're the fairest in all the land that makes us nervous. Quite the opposite. Most all of us have been so programmed--by nearly everyone in our world and almost every aspect of the media--we've been so brainwashed that we hear only the echoes of judgments when we stand in front of a mirror.

The echoes are so well-rehearsed (and, likely, well-believed) that we can't remember when they originated or from whom we first heard them. We go along with them so blindly that we think it's just our voices up in our heads telling us we're too much of something (too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall) or too little of something (not pretty enough, not fit enough, not young enough, not old enough). Our lists of too-much-too-little are endless!

So, to stand in front of the mirror is to come face-to-face with how we don't measure up. Rarely do we put the brakes on the nonstop babbling that comes from our thoughts to change the direction of their flow. We don't tell the judgments to sit down and hush up. Nor do we give the little voices in our hearts who know we're a-okay a chance to get a word in edgewise.

That is, until now. Take a minute to stand in front of the mirror sometime today. Look for the beauty of who you really are (or, Who You Really Are). See for yourself what other people see in you. Look back to see who is really looking back at you (♫♪ Listen to the Browns sing, "I was looking...").

Speak out loud the non-judgmental observations you can make about what you see. If it helps, just state the facts.  For example,"I have round, dark eyes." "I have wide, curvy hips." "My tummy is soft."

Once you've gifted yourself with factual, nonjudgmental statements, see if you can follow them with some silent, loving gazes. Look at yourself and notice details as you send every part of your body some nonjudgmental love. Imagine all the work, all the fun, all the challenges your body has undertaken throughout your life.

Send all of your body gratitude as you stand looking at yourself in the mirror. If judgmental thoughts begin to creep into your head, just shoo them away. It's not their turn!

Take a few minutes today to face yourself in the mirror without judgment and without rejection. Don't be shy! If Queen Grimhilde can expect to be called the fairest in the land, what's a few minutes of sending yourself loving gazes?

And, if you want to learn more mirror exercises, go to Day 1 in my book, "Me, Myself, and I ~ 28 Days of Creative Self-Love." I'd love to see you there!

Happy Halloween/Samhain!

Here we are, two days after the Hunter’s full moon and two days before Hallowe’en, or as originally celebrated, “Samhain.” This “super” full moon gives us an opportunity to see clearly that which is not usually well lit. Perhaps there are a few things hiding in the shadows of our hearts that need to be coaxed into the gentle light of the moon so that we can see them for what they are. In the moonlit nights of this week, we can explore what we need to let go of and what we desire to hug more fully.

      As they come into view, we can embrace these shadowy parts of ourselves for the ways they guide us and help us, even when it might not be by completely healthy means. As they are illuminated more clearly, we can see those hidden parts of us for what they are and love them for their good intentions. We can heal their sense of separation from the truth of Who We Really Are.

      During the Super Moon this week, we are facing situations and people that might be standing in the way of our own self-worth and self-love. A lot of the times, that person is us!  The October moon guides the final hunt of the season before we wrap ourselves into the cocoon of winter. With what and with whom do you want to be snuggling in the coming months? Are there obstacles you can clear from your pathway to learning to love yourself more fully?

      By the light of the Hunter’s moon, we can see our way clearly to Hallowe’en/Samhain. October 31st is traditionally celebrated as the night when the veil between the spirit world and the physical world is the thinnest—a liminal time, a threshold opening between us and otherworldly beings.

     The Celtic tradition of leaving out food for those who have left their bodies in the past year and dressing in disguises are what originated the practices connected with Hallowe’en. If the spirits are full and satiated, they will be less likely to hang around those of us remaining in the physical realm! And, if they don’t recognize us, they’re not likely to drag us along with them! Bonfires were also burned to light the spirits’ way across the threshold.

      Because of the spirit world’s closeness, Samhain is a time for honoring those who have crossed over and are loving and guiding us from the other side. Who is it that you would choose to honor on Hallowe’en night? What did they love on this side of life that you might have on hand in memory of their earthly existence? It might be food or may just as well be music, poetry, or something else that was precious to them.

      You might also visit the places that were important to your loved ones. Place some fall flowers on their graves or in the woods as a way of acknowledging the nearness of their spirits. Another way to honor them is to set out pictures of them, reminders of when you were with them in the physical world. Share some stories of those times with young ones, or write them down for future generations.  

     For many spiritual practitioners, Samhain also marks the end of the year. That’s a double-whammy invitation into introspection that began earlier this week with the full moon! Take some time to look through your journals from the past 12 months. If you’re not a journaler, then give yourself some pause from your daily busyness to explore the time that has passed since last Hallowe’en. Consider these questions as you reflect:

• Where have you grown in your life—spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally?
• What is different from a year ago? Does it align with your desires, or is it taking a ziggy-zaggy route?
• What has stayed the same that you still want to change?
• In what ways have you expanded your mind and opened your heart? Where is there room for improvement?
• What are the places of gratitude you see across the year? How do you want to unfold in the coming year? As we go into hibernation, what preparation for that unfoldment would you like to undertake in the stillness of winter?
• What dreams will need your energy and focus now and as the year unfolds?
• What does self-love look like to you in the upcoming months? How can you shift into more love for yourself?

As Tuesday’s full moon lights your path into Samhain and the new year, I trust you will find love for yourself in its glow. Be in appreciation of those who have blazed the path before you. And, may the light of self-love guide you on your way to new beginnings!

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